My Father-in-Law is a character. He's so random sometimes there's nothing you can do but laugh.
Last night my Mother-in-Law sent me a text that said the following:
"Dad wants to know if you guys wanna go to the outlet mall tomorrow n get some tennis shoes!! ???"
Ummmm.... Okkkkk???
*laughing*
So random.
Today while I was on my way to work my MIL was texting me again to find out when I'd be available to meet up with them {Kyle had to work all day so he couldn't go}. I ended up calling her because the texting and driving wasn't going to work for me {dangerous and too difficult}.
So when I was talking to her I asked her "So, what's the deal? What are we doing?"
And she said that last night before she sent the text, my FIL had said "Tomorrow is a holiday. You should call everyone and see if they want to go up to the outlet mall and get some tennis shoes." She gave him the same reaction that I had but she sent us all the text asking if we wanted to go.
Hey, it's free shoes so I'm not gonna argue if he's paying, right?
Today after I went to meet a new family I'm going to be working with, which only took about an hour, I met my SIL & BIL at their house {which is only 4 minutes from my house, but it's closer to the freeway} and we all headed up to the outlet mall. My inlaws weren't too far behind us.
{My other BIL is coming back from Hawaii today, so he didn't go either.}
I asked my MIL while we were walking from shoe store to shoe store where this idea came from. Thin air? I mean, it's just SO RANDOM. "Hey, let's go get shoes with the whole family!" Who does that? *laughing* My FIL, that's who!
The five of us went to Reebok, Famous Footwear, Puma, Sketchers, Adidas, Nike {where I saw a couple of my friends / former co-workers that I haven't seen in a long time - so fun!} and maybe another store or two. We all got shoes, including Kyle even though he wasn't there - I picked them out for him - and then us girls also got a pair of flip-flops.
{Kyle's shoes...Google Images}
{My shoes...Google Images}
{My flip-flops...in brown...Google Images}
It was a fun afternoon! Free shoes! Score!
After we left there, we went to Bob's Burger & Brew {or something like that} and got a late lunch / early dinner.
I don't know how serious my MIL was, but we decided that this is now going to be the "Annual Memorial Day Shoe Shopping Extravaganza!" Woohoo!!
Today is a day to celebrate and remember our Men and Women that have sacrificed their lives for our freedom. I'm SO thankful for the job that they do for us every single day!
Thank You doesn't even say enough, but THANK YOU to all of our troops and the families of our troops! You are amazing people!!
First of all, I want to thank each and every one of you that took the time to leave me encouraging words and tell me that you were praying for me over Mother's Day weekend. I made it through. I can't say I was the most pleasant person to be around but I felt your prayers. So thank you, thank you, thank you!!! You all mean so much to me!!
I feel like I've been ignoring you all and my blog. I'm not though. I've just been busy busy and tired!!
I don't remember if I ever mentioned what I'm doing right now but since the end of April I've been working with a girl {"J"}that has high-functioning autism. I'm with her five days a week for about five hours a day. While it's been fun, it's also been exhausting! Her parents went to Europe, leaving the country for the first time in this girls life {31 years}! They're going to be home next Monday and then they'll only want me about once a week or so.
Then, also, for the past week I've been helping my dad out. My aunt Kim went to New York to be there for my cousin's college graduation. Because she was gone, my other aunt, Susan, who has cerebral palsy and is mentally handicapped {and lives with my aunt Kim} has been up at my dad / grandparents house. My dad also takes care of three others in his home, plus my grandma has Alzheimer's and lives next door to him so he's got to keep his eyes on her, too. Needless to say, he has his hands full so I went over every other day, after being with "J" to feed Susan dinner and get her ready for bed, plus I was there on Saturday and Sunday, too. Today was the last day being there, but this morning I went to get her ready for the day instead of going over tonight since she went home today.
This all hasn't left many more hours in the day for me to really function coherently. I've been thinking about you all, though! I've got a few different posts brewing in my head and yes, I STILL want to tell you about the concert Kyle and I went to on May 1st!
Soon!
Promise!
In the meantime, enjoy this picture of a duck sitting on a dock that I took today. Our weather has been perfect this week so I've been trying to find things for us to do that are outside. "J" told me about this park that has a bunch of trails that I had no idea existed, and I've lived in this area my entire life! It was a lot of fun! More pictures to come!
My heart is so heavy today and my anxiety is in full swing.
I am just NOT looking forward to tomorrow. At. All.
We're not going to church. We stopped going to church on Mother's Day years ago. I just can't handle it.
I want to be one of those women that stands up to be recognized for being 'Mommy' not one of the ones that sits in the pew and claps.
I want to be one of those 'Mommy's' that gets a flower for bringing a new life into this world.
I want to be one of those 'Mommy's-to-be' that has the huge baby bump that you can't miss.
But I'm not and I just can't deal with it all.
So, I think we're going to go to my mom's house and make brunch and celebrate her. And later on go to my inlaws and visit with my Mother-in-Law and the rest of the fam.
Other than that though, we're going to ignore the day.
Not going to give any recognition to what we don't have because it will just rip our heart in two.
Just thinking about it I want to cry.
I will try to put a smile on my face tomorrow but inside I'll be crying out and avoiding eye contact with those of you out in the world that have little bundles that make you 'Mommy'. Maybe the next day I'll be able to look you in the eye again but tomorrow, if you see someone walking with her eyes on the ground, it's probably me. I'll just be trying to keep my composure so please forgive me for not giving you the time of day.
Today my Honey brought me something home for Mother's Day though. He wanted to put a smile on my face. He told me it was from him and Chewy {and Milo} because I'm a good Mommy to my fur-kids.
While he doesn't express it in quite the same way that I do, I think it really hurts my Honey's heart, too, that we don't have any kids to call us 'Mommy' and 'Daddy'.
You would think that this infertility thing would get easier as the years go by and we learn to deal with our situation but no, it doesn't. It only gets harder and more difficult. Especially when we see no light at the end of a very, very long and dark tunnel!
I was recently talking with a woman. I didn't ask any questions that would tell this person that I wanted to hear her life story but she proceeded to tell me that she'd had five kids that had all been taken away by CPS. She'd also had two abortions in the past few years, one of which had been twins. I can't even tell you how quickly I tried to get out of that conversation. She's lucky I didn't burst into tears right then and there. I am not equipt to handle these kinds of life stories. If you want to rip me to pieces tell me what this woman told me. For an infertile this was the worst possible thing she could've told me. It is not FAIR that women like this are able to reproduce and I, a woman that is ready, willing and able to care for children, can't because she's got a body that doesn't do what it's supposed to do.
It crushed me into a million little pieces.
Then there are those pregnancy announcements and birth announcements that are constant. With Facebook, especially, but with Twitter and blogs and all the other social networking out there, I just can't get away from it all. Today there was a birth announcement for someone that I am not close with. At. All. We are not friends. I would be ok if I never saw this person again. Maybe it's the green monster coming out, but I just can't be happy for her or them. That probably makes me a horrible person.
Moving on because this is getting long.
Earlier today I was perusing the interwebs and I came upon a couple of things I want to share.
This is everything I've said before and want to say now. She expresses everything I've tried to put into words but never seem to do very eloquently.
I liked the way that this author expresses the same thing, but in a poetic way. If I could write poetry, I would like to be able to write something like this:
Infertility Poem for Mothers Day
I am afraid
To plant this seed.
The sun is warm,
The earth is rich and ready,
But the days go by,
And still no planting.
Why?
The springtime of my life
Is passing, too.
And ten years' planting
In a willing soil
Have borne no living fruit.
So many times I've waited,
Hoped,
Believed,
That God and nature
Would perform
A miracle
Incredible but common.
Nothing grew.
And often times I feel
The mystery of life and growth
Is known to all but me,
Or that reality
Is not as it appears to be.
I have a choice:
To put aside this seed,
Leaving the planting
To the proven growers,
Pretending not to care
For gardening,
And knowing
If I do not try
Or plant,
And risk again
The well known pain
Of watching
For the first brave green
And seeing only
Barren ground.
He also spoke
About a seed,
The mustard's tiny grain,
Almost too small to see,
But, oh - the possibilities!
Those who doubt,
Who fear,
Are not inclined to cultivate it.
But it was to them He spoke.
And God remembered Sarah...
Rachel...
Hannah...
Elizabeth...
The seed is in my hand,
The trowel in the other;
I am going to the garden
And the Gardener,
Once more.
Author: Margaret Munk
Last but not least, this song by the Dixie Chicks.
This week has been busy, busy, busy! I feel like I've barely been home!
I've got a couple of posts that I want to get out here, like about the concert that we went to last Sunday and a post regarding Mother's Day that's coming up. Just not sure what I want to say yet about this dreaded holiday.
Then I've also wanted to tell you about my experience last Saturday so I might as well do it now. No time like the present.
I did my hair.
As in, I dyed my hair from a box.
By myself.
Yeah.
Scary.
But first, I consulted with my sister and hair-stylist. This was our text conversation last Saturday.
Me: So, are you gonna kill me if I dye my hair from a box? (concert tomorrow. don't wanna look like crap!)
Her: What color?
Me: I dunno. Brown or burgundy.
Her: Brown is fine.
Me: You're saying you won't kill me if I do brown? LOL Any particular brand? Someone told me I should use L'oreal.
Her: L'oreal is fine. Ya brown is easier to fix.
Then I told her I was gonna go for it because I looked like a hot mess.
First, to give you an idea of just how bad my hair had gotten, a picture from just a couple of weeks ago. This was taken at Evan's Easter program.
Grow out from February and I haven't had my hair cut since November/December.
This is the longest my hair has been in YEARS!!
Saturday afternoon, I went to the store and got this
At about 9:30/10pm at night, I started the process.
{And how do YOU spend your Saturday nights? LOL}
I got brave...or stupid...and posted this picture to Twitter. Nothing like a little self-humiliation to make the process go by faster, right?
You should probably know that I've never colored my hair from a box before so I was really nervous that I wasn't going to do something right! I read the direction no less than a hundred ten times.
Yeah, when I was in junior high and high school I used Sun-In, didn't everyone? I wanted the blonde "highlights" that were SO COOL back then!
Twice Once, I allowed my mom to attempt to highlight my hair three days before my wedding.
WORST. IDEA. EVER.
That ended up in me spending 7.5 hours at a salon having them fix the SPOTS, yes, SPOTS {or more like polka-dots!} I had all over my head. Love my mom, but a hair-stylist she is NOT.
Aside from those things, I, personally, have never actually colored my hair! I figure it's better to pay someone to do it correctly the first time rather than have them correct my mistakes.
But right now, I'm desperate so I resorted to the box.
AND, it got my sister's approval with the end result!
This was taken on Sunday morning on the way to church. I also cut myself some side-swept bangs since that was out of control too! My sister doesn't know about that part though. They're so choppy but they work till she can get her hands on my hair!
Overall, I'm happy with my first attempt at covering up the nasty burgundy-turned-copper and *ahem* grays. Now, if I could just get it cut!
Oh Spirit come make us humble
We turn our eyes from evil things
Oh Lord we cast down our idols
So give us clean hands
Give us pure hearts
Let us not lift our souls to another
Give us clean hands
Give us pure hearts
Let us not lift our souls to another
We bow our hearts we bend our knees
Oh Spirit come make us humble
We turn our eyes from evil things
Oh Lord we cast down our idols
So give us clean hands
Give us pure hearts
Let us not lift our souls to another
Give us clean hands
Give us pure hearts
Let us not lift our souls to another
And God let us be a generation that seeks,
Seeks your face, oh God of Jacob (x2)
[Instrumental]
God let us be a generation that seeks,
Seeks your face, oh God of Jacob
And God let us be a generation that seeks,
Seeks your face, oh God of Jacob (x3)
Jesus you are
Your my God (x2)
Your my God (x2)
Your my God
~~~~~
I'm on a Kutless kick right now. I have listened to this cd over and over and over and OVER again! You should really buy it because you won't regret it! Promise!!
When I was looking for last weeks video I came across this one and thought it was really cool to see it "live" in the studio and so I wanted to share it today. The song has a great message too so I hope you enjoy this one today.
~~~~~
If you'd like to see previous Worship and Praise songs, you can do so here.
Would you like me to review a product for you? Would you like to sponsor a giveaway for my readers? You've come to the right place! I love to review new or existing products and give my honest opinion on them. I also enjoy doing giveaways. If you're interested in having me do either, please contact me at megancarlson@gmail.com.
