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There's a bunch of random going through my head but I don't think I can really put together a very cohesive post on one subject.
I could write about how I'm sitting in my pj's on the couch right now. How I read a chapter in One Thousand Gifts, watched the video that goes with it from the (in)courage book club and am now debating about when I'm going to get up and get ready for the day.
How Chewy's sister Molly is going to be here in an hour or so, for five days, and how I'm worried she's going to tear my house apart because she's a little mischief maker. Or how I now have to amend this because Molly's dad called and one of their kids is sick so now Molly won't be coming till tomorrow. Chewy's going to be sad.
You might be interested to know that my mom bought me a new camera as a graduation gift. I've been taking pictures. Lots and lots of pictures, especially of Chewy and Milo. I'm pretty excited about this gift because my camera that I bought used about six years ago recently died. So this gift is perfect timing. Oh and by the way? It's already been to Europe cuz my mom borrowed it before giving it to me. Stinker!
Or that I have a temporary'ish-permanent'ish job doing home health care that my dad got me through a company that he used to do business with and still kind of / sorta does. And how my first "assignment" is working with my aunt that has cerebral palsey. And how she's going to be up at my dad's / grandparents house for the next week or so while my other aunt that this aunt lives with is having back surgery and that I'm getting a "trial run" with her while she's there before I go and "officially" work with her on the 30th.
I could tell you that my mom is getting ready to put her house on the market so she's packing it all up and in the process she's trying to get me to take a bunch of her stuff. She already gave me a bag of stuff that's going to go straight to the Goodwill. How she called me the other day and told me not to be upset, that she had good intentions but that she wanted to know if I wanted to store all of the baby stuff she's accumilated over the years for the baby that may or may not ever come into my life and that I told her I'd rather not. And that aside from all of that I'm really sad that she's selling her house and is basically going to be living out of her car {by choice}and become a nomad. That she told me she's thinking about driving across the country, alone, and that worries the heck out of me!
I might also be able to tell you that I had a really great, heartfelt, conversation with my dad last week. The first one that we've had in a very, very, very long time. That he told me some things that I never knew and came from his heart and that I, too, told him some things that worry me and cause me anxiety. And that we had a shared memory of one time when my sister and I were young and my dad called my mom a name. I thought that he called her a 'bitch' and I worried all night long about why he would call her that and in the morning my mom had asked me if I had heard what my dad called her and that he had called her a 'witch' and I sighed of relief that he hadn't called her a 'bitch'. My dad told me that he remembers this instance clearly and had wondered all these years if I had misunderstood him. We laughed about it.
Another thing I could mention would be that there are a bazillion babies surrounding me right now and I'm really, really, trying hard to not let it bother me but one of my younger cousins just had her fourth child the other day. I'm the oldest grandchild on my dad's side of the family and I have yet to produce any offspring.
And one reason why that is bothering me is because my grandma has Alzheimer's and it's only getting worse. Makes me sad that she's not going to see me with kids, and remember it. Already she's asking me to tell her about my boyfriend and I have to tell her that my husband of 9 years might not like it if I had a boyfriend, too. {Of course, I'm joking around with her, but that's just an example of how things are going these days.}
I'm trying, desperately, to get my happy back. The sun that we've had the last couple days is helping but I'm having to dig really deep. There is just so much going on right now and I'm just not sure what to write, what anyone might want to read, or not. I'm discouraged and my blog shows it and I hate that. I want happy and I want to BE happy and I want my blog to be a happy place that you all want to visit and participate with. I know that I'm not such a great bloggy friend these days and I apologize for that. I hope to be better sooner rather than later.
But again, I don't know what to write about so I could tell you about the above but maybe I won't.
