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It's been no secret that I've been searching and searching and SEARCHING for a job. It's pretty much what I spend my days doing but I'm also not really seeing anything *new* out there so I can't really continue to apply for the same jobs over and over, even though I have. I just try to make sure that the one that I'm applying for has a different job number or is in a different location in the hospitals.
It's also been no secret that we've been struggling financially. When my unemployment ended that was almost $2,000 a month less for us. That money that we would normally use to pay our car payment or buy groceries or gas, was just...gone. IS just gone. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that we are LUCKY. There are so many people out there that are struggling WAY worse than us. Even though Kyle doesn't get a regular paycheck because he's self-employed and only gets paid when the company gets paid, at least he IS STILL getting paid, just takes longer for the money to get to us sometimes. Winter is always slower and then when you factor in that a couple of jobs got canceled for one reason or another, the money that they were planning on, is then just gone too.
But over the course of the past month or so, as I've read different blogs, and even as I revisited a particular post from my blog, something stood out to me. I don't think it was just in my mind. I think it was God telling me something. Because I saw the same verse more times than I can remember:
"Be still and know that I am God." Psalm 46:10
That verse has become my mantra.
When I started freaking out about money and where it was going to come from...Be still and know that I am God.
When I started freaking out that I was NEVER going to get a job...Be still and know that I am God.
I think sometimes it was just my mind speaking to me but I believe that at other times, it was Jesus reminding me that he's in control of the situation and I don't need to worry. Everything is going to be all right and he's going to make sure that we're taken care of.
Right after I started remembering that verse, regularly, Kyle brought home a check. It wasn't a lot. But it was enough to get us by for a week or so. Then he brought home some more money. Again, it wasn't a lot, but it's been enough, for right now. {Granted, we still haven't paid our mortgage but that'll happen before too long.}
Be still and know that I am God.
I had an interview on Tuesday for a CNA position at the children's hospital in our area. It's only per diem, 1-15 hours a week, but at least it would be something. It would get my foot in the door. And this hospital has a soft spot in my heart because they saved my nephew, Kingston's, life. I told the lady that too because she asked why I would want to work there. It would be an awesome experience to be working with children in that way. I have no doubt it would change me, for the better. I was the first to be interviewed for the position so it's going to be a few weeks before I hear anything.
Yesterday I got a call from the "big boss" at another hospital, the one that I did my phlebotomy and EKG exterships at. He wants me to go and meet with him on Monday morning at 10. That would be a full time position, with benefits, etc. I think that this job would be great but I am really freaked out about having to deal with the morgue and potentially having to do CPR. I, theoretically, know how to do it but I've never had to and I'm scared that everything I know is going to go out the window, ya know? But that's nothing to worry about right now: Be still and know that I am God. Please pray that this one works out because it IS a full time position which is really what I need.
On Monday I got my official test date for the State exam for my CNA license. I'll be taking the written and skills test on February 6th. Please be praying for me as I do this. Please pray that I remember everything that I need to know for the written and please pray that I don't mess up more than 5 times {total} for the skills test. If I do, then I fail and I believe I'd have to wait between 1 and 3 months to take it again. I can't afford to wait. I NEED my license to be able to get a job. I'm going to be studying up, but it's all very nerve-wracking. Be still and know that I am God.
While things are still not "perfect" at least I'm getting something to smile about right now so things are looking up and I know that Jesus is right there beside us taking care of us.
