The One In Which I Give You Way Too Much {Personal} Information

Remember when I told you that I had found a way to get some projects done around the house? And it had to do with Kyle and me signing a contract that I had written up?

It was after my meltdown. I was mulling things over and trying to come up with a way for Kyle to actually do some work on OUR house, and it just came to me in the shower. {Yes, I get a lot of thinking done in the shower.}

Ha! I'll write a contract that Kyle will HAVE to agree to! I mean, why would he not? I thought. It benefits him and I get some projects done in the process.

Sounds good, right?

Well, I don't normally talk about this kind of stuff. Sexual stuff. Mostly because it's a bit taboo and not everyone wants to know about our intimate life. But I think this contract is hilarious so I'm willing to go out of my box and risk being taboo to share.

I'm not going to tell you exactly what the contract says, but suffice to say that for every project that Kyle gets checked off the list {that's in the contract}, he gets a BJ.

Lucky him, right?

Now, I'm going to share this with you, too. I really despise giving BJ's. Whoever finds that task pleasurable is C-R-A-Z-Y.

BUT, because I'm DESPERATE to get this house in order and become less of a construction zone, I'm willing to put myself out there.

And you know how "they", the "child experts", say to find your child's "currency"? Well, I'm hoping that the promise of multiple BJ's is Kyle's currency. He's lucky if he gets one two times a year as it is right now, so to only have to finish projects around the house to get one? I'd think that would sound like a good thing, if I were him.

There are stipulations in the contract though. It says that he can only be denied if I'm ovulating or if one of us are sick. The projects have to be completed to my satisfaction and he's only allowed one BJ per project / per day.

And the down payment? I had to make him two pina coladas. {Because they always take a down payment when they sign a contract to start a job.}

Oh and I have to do a minimum of 10 hours of the work, too. {UGH!! He insisted because, after all, when they sign a contract with a customer, there's always negotiations until both parties are happy with the terms and conditions. LOL}

He has yet to even begin working on the projects though. I'm guessing he won't until after the new year because he's got a lot on his plate right now.

Am I crazy? {Don't answer that! Ha!}

Have any of you ever done any sort of negotiating like this with your hubby / significant other? Care to share?