It's Aloha Friday over at An Island Life!
Answer my question and make sure you post one on your blog!
After that, go relax because today is Friday!!
Question for you this week is:
Answer my question and make sure you post one on your blog!
After that, go relax because today is Friday!!
Question for you this week is:
If you're in a situation where you don't know anyone, how to you "put yourself out there" and get out of your comfort zone?
My answer:
I don't have an answer this week. I'm looking for advice.
By nature, I am a pretty shy person until I'm comfortable and know people. {After that, watch out...I don't shut up!}
Kyle and I have been going to our church for a year and we have not met anyone that we did not already know before we started going there. Except one person and still, have only spoken to him two times {once in a class and once when Kyle grew a pair and went up and talked to him...two shy people does not make for making friends easily!}.
Tonight, I am going with a friend {that goes there as well...we started going there together} to a Women's Ministry kickoff where they're going to introduce us to the different areas where we can get involved. I'm sure the leaders are going to be doing a lot of talking, but I know that I'm likely going to have to mingle, too, which I totally and completely SUCK at. SO uncomfortable!!
I called my friend to see if she was going and I told her I wasn't going without her, so she found a babysitter. LOL I am WAY too chicken to step out on my own like that. I need a sidekick that can do most of the talking...which she's good at...and she's made friends.
GAH!!! I'm nervous! Help me!!
There was a very gracious lady who was mailing an
old family Bible to her brother in another part of
the country.
"Is there anything breakable in here?" asked the postal clerk.
"Only the Ten Commandments." answered the lady.
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"Somebody has said there are only two kinds of people in the world.There are those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good morning, Lord,"
and there are those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good Lord, it's morning."
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A minister parked his car in a no-parking zone in a large city because he was short of time and couldn't find a space with a meter. Then he put a note under the windshield wiper that read: "I have circled the block 10 times. If I don't park here, I'll miss my appointment. Forgive us our trespasses."When he returned, he found a citation from a police officer along with this note "I've circled this
block for 10 years. If I don't give you a ticket I'll lose my job. Lead us not into temptation."
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There is the story of a pastor who got up one Sunday and announced to his congregation: "I have good news and bad news. The good news is, we have enough money to pay for our new building program. The bad news is, it's still out there in your pockets."
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While driving in Pennsylvania, a family caught up to an Amish carriage. The owner of the carriage obviously had a sense of humor, because attached to the back of the carriage was a hand printed sign..."Energy efficient vehicle: Runs on oats and grass. Caution: Do not step in exhaust."
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A Sunday School teacher began her lesson with a question, "Boys and girls, what do we know about God?"
A hand shot up in the air. "He is an artist!" said the kindergarten boy.
"Really? How do you know?" the teacher asked.
"You know - Our Father, who does art in Heaven... "
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A minister waited in line to have his car filled with gas just before a long holiday weekend. Theattendant worked quickly, but there were many cars ahead of him. Finally, the attendant motioned him toward a vacant pump. "Reverend," said the young man, "I'm so sorry about the delay. It seems as if everyone waits until the last minute to get ready for a long trip." The minister chuckled, "I know what you mean. It's the same in my business."
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A father was approached by his small son who told him proudly, "I know what the Bible means!"
His father smiled and replied, "What do you mean, you 'know' what the Bible means?"
The son replied, "I do know!"
"Okay," said his father. "What does the Bible mean?"
"That's easy, Daddy." the young boy replied excitedly, "It stands for 'Basic Information Before Leaving Earth.'"
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Sunday after church, a Mom asked her very young daughter what the lesson was about. The daughter answered, "Don't be scared, you'll get your quilt."Needless to say, the Mom was perplexed.
Later in the day, the pastor stopped by for tea and the Mom asked him what that morning's Sunday school lesson was about. He said "Be not afraid, thy comforter is coming."
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Taking a moment, here too, to remember the almost 3,000 people that lost their lives September 11, 2001.
You will never be forgotten.
Taking a moment, here too, to remember the almost 3,000 people that lost their lives September 11, 2001.
You will never be forgotten.
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19 comments:
Oh boy i am so totally the same kind of person! I am shy with people i don't know.. and this is trouble when coming to meeting new people, especially since i have another barrier to break now, the German language one! I actually guess the language barrier makes it the hardest to get over.. so yeah.. hope in time I'll be able to be the same bold active me:) pray!
Aloha!
*come check for more Aloha Friday ramblings
I am that kind of person as well. An introvert, for sure!
I probably would just stay home and not go out of my comfort zone.
I'd suggest that you make eye contact with people, and if there is an opportunity to say "Hi, how are you doing today?", do that. It sometimes gets a conversation going and breaks the ice with others that want to meet people too.
I am not an outgoing person. I would suggest making eye contact and begin by simply saying hi and I think you will find some interesting new people.
I would much rather stay home with sole control of the remote control but when forced into social situations I find that a 'hand-prop' is helpful.
Whether it's a cup of coffee, a soda or a cocktail, I find that if I have something to do with my hands I don't feel nearly as awkward. Then it's just a matter of diving into the conversation.
You know once you get going you can yap with the best of them. We are women after all. :)
I am a lot like you from that regard, so I really don't have much to offer, wish I did - it would help me too!!
I'm right on that fine line between extrovert and introvert, but because I've performed for most of my life, and been in the education system I'm actually pretty comfortable in those situations...or at least I can make it SEEM like I am.
My advice, I suppose, is to "perform". Not to be fake at ALL, but to somehow instill that confidence in yourself, and to be friendly, approachable (because it's a LOT easier when someone approaches you) and to just smile. You have a gorgeous smile; if you shoot it towards people you're inevitably going to end up in conversation. You don't have to be a bubbly extrovert to engage in people :0)
I don't feel like that is helpful, so I hope someone else has better words for you :0)
I am just the opposite. I talk to everyone. When I coach people on talking to strangers, step one is saying hello. Nothing more. Just a hello. Most people will answer. Some won't. But most will. Once you get comfortable saying hi, then add a comment. If you're going to a bible study and you found a babysitter. Maybe you can say "I'm so glad I was able to find a babysitter tonight" This is a true and accurate statement and it starts a conversation. Not everyone will respond. It just happens. But some will. Hope that helps.
I am with Audrey on this situation. I tend to scope out the room (this is when I am attending a Chamber of Commerce meet and greet - you have to talk to people)and try an decide who may be the most easiest person to talk to by "yes" making eye contact, smile and walk up to them and either compliment them or ask a question, which usually keeps them engaged in conversation. You will find that after you do this once or twice it is very fun and will actually boost your self confidence. It's a truly win-win situation. You may end up making lots of new friends. :) Good luck and let us know how it goes.
I'm with Lora. I'm not FAKE, but sometimes I "fake it." I hate small talk, but it's actually pretty easy, especially if you've never met the person before. You can ask all kinds of normally lame getting-to-know-you questions, and they won't be lame!
I don't know how big your church is but I find it easiest looking around the room and finding others who look out of place, uncomfortable or I know they are new. Maybe even pray about that before you go and ask God to show you someone to talk to. It's much easier when we can forget about ourselves and focus on making someone else feel comfortable. If you do see someone new ask them. Then you could ask if they are new to the area and I think the conversation would take off from there. And yeah, I agree with everyone about the smile and eye contact.
If I'm in a group of complete strangers, I remind myself that none of them know anything about me - so I can present myself as a confident, outgoing person even though I'm anything but. I also try to say something witty or funny...which doesn't always work. It helps if I find a small group or even a single person to talk to first. That way I don't feel like I'm jumping into a conversation that's been going on for a long time and that I won't be able to contribute to.
Good luck! Remember to smile and pretend to be outgoing!
Love the jokes!
i am the same way! i cannot go to social functions like that by myself! i have the hardest time talking to people i don't know even though i am pretty talkative and friendly regularly!
i don't know if i could ever meet a blogger IRL because i would be too shy! haha
good luck and hope it goes well!
Before you go just say to yourself you will introduce yourself. You really just have to be like Nike and Just Do It!
Walk up to a person and say "Hi! I'm Infertile Myrtle nice to meet you!" go for the hand shake if you aren't afraid of cooties. Usually you will get the appropriate response. I always find that church helps me with this because we always have to greet people.
I am much like you. People mistake me for being shy, but really I am observant. I dont just walk up to anyone and start talking (my hubs can). I like to lay low and check people out, check out their personality. I find that this helps me to figure out who I would most likely be able to have a conversation with. I think you can tell just by watching someone, if they seem stand offish or moody or maybe even just shy too. I go for the people that seem the most friendly and bubbly!
I try to always have one friend around, but if that isn't possible, I look for the friendliest looking people and approach them. Most people are nice and who knows..they might be shy too and appreciate you approaching them :)
I have this same problem so what I usually do is look around and pick out the person that seems most like me and the least intimidating and talk to them. It has always worked for me and I've made lasting friendships that way.
I'm so shy I don't talk a lot even when I'm in a roomful of people I DO know! Which is weird because as a child in school I was told I talked too much. Hmmmm. I can't say I blame you for wanting to take a friend with you, so you know at least one person. I'll be interested to hear how it went and who you met. (Almost all my friends were introduced to me by another friend at some point. They aren't friends that I went and got on my own. Now THAT is sad!)
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